DEAN; what am I supposed to do?

FIC: Blowjob Queen

Blowjob Queen (sam/dean, NC-17, 5k)
John hasn't left the boys alone in weeks and Sam's dying for some action with Dean. He picks a fight with John to get him upset enough to get really drunk. When John passes out in their shared motel room, Sam seduces Dean in the next bed.

(pinch-hit for spn_j2_xmas)
Tags: ,
DEAN; what am I supposed to do?

FIC: rose red mouth

rose red mouth (R, 3.7k)

"I need a father who’s a role model, not some horny geekboy who’s gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a friend home from school."
(Just a cheap, quickly written American Beauty AU with Lester!Jensen and Angela!Jared)
Tags: ,
CLEAN

FIC: Lobotomy Heart

J2 AU, NC-17, 5k - It's the summer of 1968 and Jensen, son of a doctor, has become fascinated with a patient.
warnings for: underage, mental disorders, hypersexuality, light bloodplay, past violence, offensive/outdated terms

gift for blackrabbit42 for spn_j2_xmas
(your list of likes made me so incredibly happy and i do hope this is something along the lines of what you may have wanted.)

AO3
Tags: ,
DEAN; shadows

FIC: Dead Tidy

Dead Tidy - j2 | R | 2.6k
Jensen spends all his time at the boneyard perfecting his garden. That's where he meets the boy.
Warning: underage stuff, past trauma
For alexisjane, who is beautiful and thoughtful and kind, always. I hope I didn't completely butcher your gorgeous ideas. With all my ♥ happy birthday.

AO3

Petals, petals.Collapse )
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JENSEN; joy

nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd

i don't really do these sorts of things, mostly because i never know what to say and i'm not all that interesting, to be frank. but my new friend souslelys tagged me for this and i'm actually awake past 9pm for once...


10 (fandom) Facts About Me
Just list 10 facts about fandom/ships/characters/kinks/headcanons whatever you like!

1. i’m obsessed with the little bump on jensen’s nose. obsessed.

2. no condoms. not ever. not in fic. no thank you.

3. pink jared, pink jared, pink jared.

4. for some reason, i’ve never been able to do age-flip fics (i.e. jensen being the younger of the two). more prominent age gaps, yes. age flipping, no. i can happily read along, but writing them this way proves impossible for me.

5. shy, quiet jensen is everything. skinny jared is everything.

6. mentally unbalanced boys are everything + the world. (j2 or sam/dean)

7. for me, a story where both parties die is still a happy ending. one alive without the other = unhappy ending. both alive but kept apart = unhappy ending.

8. A Very Supernatural Christmas was the episode that convinced me beyond a reasonable doubt that they’d been fucking for years. and married to that thought, that episode also provoked my first wincest sex dream.

9. i’m embarrassingly OTP. to the core and to the max.

10. “In real life, I’m very gentle and a go-with-the-flow person. I don’t like adventure.” - jensen ackles, causing me to love him even more ♥


i tag whoever wants to play. would love to see the things floating around in your brains! hope everyone is well lately.
DEAN; red red

swing low, sweet cherry

i'd been waiting for masquerade reveals to make a rec post, mainly because there was one in specific i needed to be claimed to make sure it was okay with the author to post some images in relation to the story. i pestered tebtosca with my worries of loving the fic too much too soon and it was decided that i'd wait to find out who wrote it. i see now that it was hers. ♥

Sun In My Mouth (2k, NC-17, wincest - gorgeous, gorgeous boys with that perfect summertime feel. this stayed with me for days, so much so that i had a dream about it and then continued to obsess from afar. ♥ my unconscious brain wrote poems about this thing.)

the way the story looked in my head (with one NSFW gif at the very end):

you"re ripe for the picking, it"s so awfulCollapse )


some other things i adored hugely ♥ ♥ ♥

Evolution by riyku (3.5k, NC-17, j2 - this was everything. adorable, heartbreaking, arousing as all hell. creepy porn, and the most delicious flavor too. like one of the books i read, put down, and stare at it thinking, i wish i'd written that..)

Made to Order by zubeneschamali (R, j2 - jared builds fucking machines and jensen's a dissatisfied client. this was brilliantly told and the pace was perfect. the tension, the result, the peek at things to come.)

Balls of Steel by andiivalo (4.3k, NC-17, j2 - medical kink with one slightly devious party. so so wonderful. i love anything that makes me even a little uncomfortable. all the things it doesn't say are just as interesting as the things it does.)

Louder, They Can Hardly Hear You by souslelys (2.3k, NC-17, j2 - military boys with quiet jensen and a determined jared set on getting him to make noise. gorgeous writing style, all the little details.)

The Doctor Is In by anon (NC-17, j2 - dystopian AU featuring medical kink and underage jared. the writing in this is incredible and very distinct. i love so much not only what was written, but how it was written, and the way the author handled everything, dialogue included. beautiful.)

everything at spn_masquerade was such a joy; the stunning art, the stories told, the feel of the community. so so much fun and i'm already looking forward to the next round. wonderful job, mods.
DEAN; white eyed

love; an intense feeling of deep affection

if you haven't checked out cassiopeia7's art of jensen as priestly, please do so. it's so wonderfully on point ♥

and birthday fics ♥ ♥ ♥ they're both so goddamn good and i felt like the luckiest fucker on the planet reading them. they are so very cherished.

My Heart to You by ephermeralk (2.6k, NC-17, j2 - janitor!jensen and underage!jared in a juvenile detention center. artfully told and completely atmospheric. such an amazing read.)

Sale Agreed by jezziejay (2.7k, PG, kane/toews - kaner's a crappy door-to-door salesman and jonny doesn't have room in his life for another vacuum cleaner. perfect dialogue, perfect setting, perfectly written. so many feelings.)

also, might anyone know if an icon of either this or this exists anywhere? preferably both?
DEAN; hand

a rain of blood always freshens things up (ART REC!)

you guys ♥ ♥ ♥ i've only been awake for a short while and already you've made today so incredibly special for me. more comprehensive post later (and i promise to reply in a timely manner to everything) but for now, please accept my deepest thank yous for the v-gifts, messages, birthday tweets and lovely words: tebtosca, fiercelynormal, wendy, riyku, dugindeep, beelikej, cherie_morte, stripytights big_heart_june, reggie11, ephermeralk, deirdre_c, and meus_venator

and then there's this. i don't even know what to say. quite sincerely one of the kindest things anyone's ever done for me, alexisjane. i have no words to express my gratitude. a simple thank you just isn't enough. this is the most beautiful thing, and such a wonderful surprise to find, and so much more than i could have ever dreamed up.
(she brought my zombie jared to life, bloody and creepy, complete with stitched wrists and scalp, and wearing jensen's old sweatpants. and that body ♥ he's absolutely perfect. please do go check it out!)

heart is bursting.
MORELLO

heart falls asleep in my chest

doing the LJ post thing brought over from twitter ♥

so behind with the times and living in my cave that i only recently discovered the ability to check out e-books from my library with just a few clicks. what else have i missed? phones don't need cords anymore? the first thing i checked out was this.Collapse )

in other news, i'm seeing soul asylum tomorrow night and i'm just so stoked. and a week from today is my birthday, for which i'm not so stoked.

bonus area: these jared photos are killing me. i can't even look at him. ♥
(ETA: today i also watched the vid where jared says he's "too big to fit", and have hardly thought of anything else since, squirmy jensen aside.)
DEAN; red red

nascent

not dead. just went away for a bit to bury myself under a pile of avoidance. somewhat effective. all finished responding to messages now, i think. if i've missed yours, please do point it out to me so that i can reply in a more timely manner. and so many many thanks for the love and concern from those who've tried poking me ♥

(BB explanation, for anyone who may still be curious: i did pull myself completely from the whole thing as i got wrapped up in anxiety over it feeling like a PWP and couldn't bear to post. such a sorry excuse, but it happened. it all felt very unworthy and paltry, thus the no-show. i put off LJ/emails for a couple of weeks, a little horrified that i choked so hard on this particular challenge, but i've accepted my shortcomings now, for the most part. in any event, my wonderful, kind and immensely considerate artist fiercelynormal made such gorgeous stuff for it and it absolutely must be seen. the story will still be posted, but not for any challenge, and a much more condensed version of itself. apologies for, well, anything at this point ♥)

also, this beautiful thing was recced to me recently and i fell completely in love with it. 5k words of everything that makes me love sam & dean. the horror, the codependency, the all-encompassing love. (it's listed as gen, but i didn't realize that until after i was all done reading. i read the whole thing as wincest and it rang true for every word. ♥ perfect and perfectly creepy)

hope everyone is well
BOOKS; king

you dirty little bookworm.

a fic was written for my prompt at the j2/wincest jibcon meme and it's just glorious.

The Daily Grind by stripytights (3k, NC-17, j2 - college AU, jensen's a grumpy barista and jared's a protestor who makes all of his signs there at the coffeeshop. glitter sex! it's adorable and sweet and so pun-ny..) ♥

a few other things.

- i just wanted to thank my lovely f-list for being so sweet, whether it's in messages or e-mails or just general positivity, it means the very most to me. i don't think i say that often enough, but i do mean it. ♥ ♥ ♥ you guys are just such a kind, talented, thoughtful bunch and i'm so very happy to have found each one of you.

- quite shocked to learn a few folks were either once in the embalming profession or studying it/looking to get into it at some point. that's so amazingly cool and i'm pretty much jealous over here. i'd love to do something like that, in theory. i'd also love to pick your brains for awhile, but only very figuratively speaking of course.

- my blackhawks lost a few days ago and i've been the lowest of low over it. trying (and failing) to get past it, and it's stunted my overall cheerfulness a bit. well, more than a bit. and it's not really an oh it's just a game or there's always next season sort of thing. it's more than that. i'm just lucky i have jezziejay to clutch at and weep with and gorgeous 1988 fic to read.

- june is a weird time of the year for me, and it always will be. i think i might make a post about (extremely personal) things later this month, though filtered. if you would rather not be on the filter, please let me know.

- lastly, this stunning piece of art that i can't even look at without my insides quivering around. i think it's the hair. obsession, always.
even when i had nothing, i had bucky.Collapse )

oh! and i also picked up my copy of mr. king's new book, mr. mercedes, when it came out yesterday. ♥ ♥ ♥ i think i tripped on excitement all the way to the cash register.
SAM; half

FIC: Keep My Fingernails Clean

Keep My Fingernails Clean - j2 | R | 5.8k
Jared's a teenage mortician secretly running the family's funeral home business when his ailing father can no longer do so. Jensen's a beauty pageant contestant who ends up on Jared's embalming table after he dies on stage.
Warning: underage, handwave-y techniques and aftermath
Originally written for spn_cinema and inspired by Elvis & Anabelle (but because I'm an asshole-failure-creaton, I missed the posting cut-off) ♥ Very quickly, whimsically, and self-indulgently written.

AO3

Just come up to me and say hello to my heart.Collapse )
Tags: ,
JARED; beard

all work, no play, dull girl

i've failed to get my spn_cinema fic finished by my posting date, which was today. i thought i'd be able to squeeze it in but with my BB posting on day two (oh my goodness - bone-shaking terror!), there's just no way. i may still try to post on the last free for all date. hopefully. i would prefer to not miss out, as this challenge will forever be near and dear to my heart (my very first j2 fic, wistful tear). ♥

in more cheery news, a very lovely person from AO3 translated my Like a Detuned Radio fic into russian. so very exciting for me - and it looks utterly gorgeous. that's HERE, should anyone like to take a peek.

and not only has he figured out where the title stemmed from (radiohead's karma police), but he's added a sweet little graphic to go with it. it's the perfect depiction of the way i imagined fic!jared and i'm so very squealy over it. happy-making things.

and a video of me trying to work on my BB while my husband is homeCollapse )

hope everyone else is having a lovely day ♥